Journal Entry

1^st Night 1/1/06

What is this freakhouse that I’m in? Am I really here? The lights are so bright it’s almost blinding. Yet the hallway remains dark and daunting, like a nasty street at night from a 50’s detective movie.

This place is so strange. It can’t be possible that I’m supposed to belong here. I can hear someone’s heavy breathing; to close, so slow. It feels as if they’re hiding in the bed next to me. How did this person manage to hide so well? How can I learn his secret? This place feels like the setting for a poorly made German horror film. Doors are always open. I can see various bodies lying uncomfortably as I walk the dim corridor. Even in sleep they look as if they’re in pain; agony and grief so deep that even the cover of darkness cannot conceal.

Some woman will be coming soon to “asess me”. Apparently I’m not allowed to leave until they say so. A small detail which they failed to tell me when I agreed to come here. Fucking pricks. And oh God they told my brother. I can’t even begin to imagine what he must be feeling. I don’t know what to say. Neither does he. Such twins. He couldn’t put into words how much he loves me. Why does that make it feel all the more worse?